Ok. I submitted my very first one. My nerves are racked, I mostly joined because I needed inspiration.... about a year and a half ago it seems the only thing I did was think and analyze, I would have 3 different thoughts going on at one time, it was AMAZING. I comprehended things that most people my age couldn't I had intelletual disscusions, I was actully becomming quite bored with people of my own age because they never got me.... I would try to start a conversation about something and they would just be like "I dunno". Then one day I made a mistake and that all changed, for the past year ever since I'v been back it seems that my mind has died. It makes me so utterly depressed, I try reading books that I know will stimulate me, I reread the ones that I spent HOURS thinking about, and there's nothing. But last night my brain seemd to actully work so I wrote it down on paper untill I could get to my comp and post it. I can't believe I actully posted it because everytime I have ever written something and went back to read it..... I've hated it, I feel like a fool, like a child [I know part of this has to do with the fact that I am truly not a writer, and can't seem-or don't yet have the skills-to get what I'm thinking out in a elequant manor]so usually I rip it up or burn it, then spend a great deal of time critizing myself.
So this deffanalty new for me. I can't seem to make my hands stop shaking.